It's ALMOST over!!!!

With a couple of weeks left before I FINALLY graduate from Medical School, I have started to reflect upon the last 5 years (yep, it took me 5 years- you will see why soon) in my mind & remember what the process of becoming a doctor has really been like. I wish that I would have started writing a blog much earlier so that I would have a written account of the whole process instead of attempting to patch together a string of fragmented memories. Unfortunately, I didn't blog back then, so all I have to work with in my attempt to compose a memoir of my path to doctor-hood is a collection of very thick binders, half a million flash-cards, thousands of dollars worth of books, a few photos, multiple gray hairs, and flashbacks of some of the occurrences that have impacted me in some way. (oh & did I mention that 301 thousand dollars worth of student loans that will serve as a monthly reminder for A VERY LONG TIME...)


As I reflect upon my time at KCUMB, the one thing that I can say is that I could NEVER do it again!!! If it weren't for the support of some of my very close friends, my amazing husband, and my family there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that I would be graduating on May 19th. In fact, I often wonder if I would be sending out grad party invitations if I  had chosen to go to a different medical school. The professors, staff, & other students at KCUMB have been an amazing group of people to work with. I have had more than a few major life issues blindside me over these past 5 years that would have made most people walk away from their training all together, but with the help of all of the wonderful people in my life & the blessing of attending a compassionate medical school, I have been able to stick it out. The professors & staff members have not only been a vital part of my education, but many of them have become some of my closest friends & will hopefully play a vital role as such for years to come.

Looking Back

Year 1: Classrooms, Labs, Exams & MANY Books

So, here is my attempt to summarize my medical school experience in 3-4 blog posts:

White Coating Ceremony

 1st Year:
On the 1st day of medical school I woke up in a hospital. I know that students are suppose to spend a lot of time on the floor, but this is probably not exactly how it is suppose to start. The rest of the new students were sitting in an auditorium taking notes & highlighting away & I was laying in a bed, hooked up to IVs, in horrible, pain panicking about missing my 1st day. This is NOT the way to start medical school!!!!

I had suffered from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy the evening before classes started & was rushed to the ED in hypovolemic shock (massive blood loss). (I am sorry if you are one of my close friends or family members & are just hearing about this for the 1st time; it was not an easy thing to deal with & it has not been something that my husband & I have wanted to spend much time talking about since it happened. I almost died that evening. They had give me a 4 unit blood transfusion (your entire blood volume is about 5-6 units) & open my abdomen emergently to stop the source of the bleeding. I ended up surviving surgery, but losing a portion of my uterus & my left fallopian tube.

All of that is shocking, but the most shocking part is that I was between 12-16 weeks pregnant & had no idea. I had been using birth control pills for almost a year, so pregnancy is not something that we had intended. Even though we were not wanting a baby at that time, the idea that we had lost one was almost too much to handle for us. The only part of the entire ED visit that I remember is hearing the heartbeat on US when they were looking for a source of my shock symptoms.

So, I spent my 1st week of school as a patient instead of a student doctor. I bet that I learned a lot more about medicine & being a good doctor that week than I would have learned in class.....

Thanks to an amazing OB/GYN from KCWC who came in on a Sunday evening to save my life (who I must mention had just found out she was pregnant earlier that week), and some great people at school I was able to make up the work that I had missed & complete 1st year with a decent GPA. The rest of the year was pretty normal (for a med student)....

I remember spending about 12 hours a day attending classes or labs or studying. There were a few firsts for me that I  NEVER forget:

• Med School Prom: Yes, we had a prom during medical school. This was a really big deal to me since I had never actually been to prom before. Our school has one every spring. Brian & I attended the prom my 1st year, but never made it back after that one. We had a blast & would have loved to attend others, but somehow life got in the way....

Med School Prom

• Gross Anatomy: I will NEVER forget the 1st time I worked on a human cadaver. I don't know what exactly happens with the first cut, but in some way I feel that it changes a person. Dissecting a cadaver is a privilege, that very few people ever have the opportunity to experience. While it is an honor to be a part of a gross anatomy dissection, the act of actually cutting into human flesh places a very strange and heavy burden on a scientist. By picking up a blade and cutting into someone's family member, you are crossing some sort of line that is not intended for the weak of heart (or stomach). After my 1st lab, I felt an incredible pressure on my shoulders to learn everything that I could while working on our cadavers so that the people who donated their bodies to us would not have done so in vein. I also felt some strange division begin to develop between the enthusiastic new medical student that I was the day before and the scalpel holding student doctor that I was becoming.  When I left the lab I really wanted to discuss what it was like to actually dissect a human being, but I had a very hard time finding someone who wasn't either in medical school, or who was already a graduate who would share in my enthusiasm. I guess that the lyrics to a certain song come to mind when I think about how anatomy lab can change a person ("The first cut is the deepest..."). The first time I left cadaver lab I felt different, it was the 1st time that I actually understood how serious the commitment of being a doctor was, and how much of an honor it was to be able to attend medical school; I also realized that there is something that separates people in white coats from people in street clothes....it's that imaginary line that white coat wearers cross every day when they invade the human body in ways that most cannot even begin to imagine.
• Some of my favorite anatomy lab moments: 
• On Halloween we had a HUGE practical & I remember walking around the lab carrying half of a leg around trying to memorize all of the parts at 5:30 in the morning. It didn't even dawn on us that it was Halloween until someone walked by wearing a costume...then I realized how strange it was to be carrying around a body part.
• On one of our early exams we had to learn all of the bones of the body. Not only did we need to be able to identify them by sight (& spell their names correctly), but we also had to be able to identify them by feel. So, during the exam there was a station with a black box with a hole in the side of it. You were to stick your hands in the box and name that bone. Someone actually made a youtube video about this exam: "Bone in a Box."

• Score One for Health:  Score One is one of the coolest things that I was able to do during the first 2 years of medical school. It is a program sponsored by KCUMB and The Deron Cherry Foundation that provides medical screening to underprivileged children in the KC area. Once or twice a semester different groups of students from our school would board busses that would take us to various elementary schools in the surrounding area where we would spend the day doing physical exams on the students at the school. It wasn't the ideal medical care situation for these youngsters, but for most of them it was the ONLY medical care that they had ever received. We would all gather in a common area and kids would line up holding a small folder and go from station to station to have their blood pressure and weight checked, an eye exam, a dental exam, and a full physical. We were always accompanied by students from local nursing programs and the dental school who would help with the examinations. We were also monitored by a group of KCUMB physicians who were there to answer questions and assist us when we found an abnormality. When something was found to be wrong with one of these children they were given a referral slip to get treatment from local providers who were offering aid. I will never forget some of these little ones:
• I asked one patient who their doctor was & the sweet little thing looked up and replied "you are." She was 7 and had never been to the pediatrician.
• On one visit I saw 14 kids with teeth that were so rotten that they no longer felt pain. Rotten teeth are black and misshapen. Most of these kids didn't have a toothbrush.
• I saw multiple cases of ear infections, untreated diabetes, signs of physical abuse, ring worm...and many other horrible things that no child should have to suffer from

I always left those afternoons feeling sick to my stomach, but I felt a bit better knowing that we had helped these children in some way.

So, that pretty much wraps up 1st year. It wasn't the most fun I have ever had, but I lived through it!!!!!